Last Monday, I awoke to the most awful chest pain I've ever had in my life. It was 4:30 am. Todd was on a hunting trip, so I gathered up the girls and headed to the emergency room at Allen Presby. An EKG came back abnormal, and the next thing I know I'm being admitted. It all happened really fast. They started running all kinds of tests. Let me tell you, I hate hospitals. Every time I'm tried falling asleep a nurse would wake me up to take my blood pressure and temp, or run another EKG, or draw some more blood. I couldn't eat, on account of the lovely cardiac diet they had me on. It's really cruel. They bring you a menu with things like chicken fried stead and lasagna on it. Then they tell me I can only have the things in blue. That left celery sticks, tofu, and edamame salad. I'm not kidding, I had a turkey sandwich at every meal. Finally, I noticed I could have french toast for breakfast. I had just got them buttered and syruped, when the nurse comes in and says "I'm so sorry, you have to fast for your abdominal cat scan, but here is a nice bottle of nuclear contrast to tide you over!" At one point my heart rate was at 42 beats per minute, and my blood pressure bottomed out. It scared the nurses pretty bad. One of them asked me if I was very athletic. My reply was "Wasn't you the one who had to lift up my fat roll to put the leads on me?" Anyone who knows me can tell you about my swimmers physique. I make Lance Armstrong jealous. However, I'm not in any condition to wear the yellow jersey just yet. My cardiologist also found a heart murmur, and that bought me a second day of vacation at the lovely Casa de Pain. It also landed me a lovely rectal exam. I couldn't tell you what the hell chest pain has to do with your ass, but I'm scared to think what they would have done if I'd went in with foot pain. After two days of this crap, I begged them to let me go home. The doctor agreed, but only if I would be back for testing the next day. I should have stayed in the damn hospital. I had more EKGs, an echo cardiogram, a nuclear stress test, and blood tests out the freakin wazoo!!! I also had to wear 3 monitors home that took my blood pressure every hour, one that kept track of my heart, and I'm still trying to figure out what the third one did. I looked like I had been assimilated by the BORG! I finally got the results back today. It's good and bad news. The good news, I've got another ten years left before things start falling apart on me. Thanks to my lovely genetics, I've got cholesterol deposits in my aorta. They can't be controlled with diet or exercise, THANK GOD, cause I would surely die. They will have to be controlled with medication. I also have a leaky bicuspid valve. I have leaky other things to, but that's for another specialist. The bad news is that none of this caused my chest pain. So, I'm off to an internist to start a whole other battery of tests for things like my gall bladder and pancreas. My children are going to have to settle for Junior College. CCCBC here we come!! I can't afford both tuition and my medical bills. I appreciate all the thoughts, prayers, flowers, and babysitting that everyone did for me. It's really nice to know I'm loved, and it's even nicer to know I've still got a decent heart to love with. God Bless!
My new camera!!
14 years ago
